A sparkle, a twinkle, a gut feeling? Why real marriages last, it magic or just plain old love?
Getting married means a commitment and devotion to each other that can lead to an entire lifetime of togetherness. It is hard work and the rewards can be great and enriching. Let us take a look at what makes them work so well.
It is not about being on top of your game all the time. As with any couple, there are plenty of ups and downs along the trail. How you, as a couple, handle those tumultuous times is what will make the difference in the long run.
The Proposal – OK To Be Different
By the time that you both got to this point it became clear to you, as a couple, that no matter what anyone else would think, it was a creation of a union of two kindred spirits that are meant to be.
Do you remember that proposal? Was it magical and whimsical? Myself, I did it the old-fashioned way and got down on one knee in my mother’s living room and spoke those famous 4 words (will you marry me) to my hopeful bride to be. Of course, she said yes and mother couldn’t be happier and proud.
There are plenty of happy stories on who proposed and how they did it to fill and entire library. The bottom line was then, as it should still be, that you both wanted to make a go of it, raise a family and live happily ever after together.
Heart to Heart – Communication
Not all matters in life can be rosy all the time and that includes marriages. It is absolutely alright to disagree but how it is addressed is what will make a difference in your relationship.
Take the time to listen to your spouse and let them vent out their frustration, as keeping it pent-up is just not a healthy thing to have in a relationship. They in turn should do the same for you. We are not talking about getting physical with violence here and one should always walk away, take a breather to calm down so as to avoid this type of conflict. Then you can return to the task of communicating your differences and try to find solutions together.
The early years of a married life are the most susceptible to end in divorce as that bond between the two of you has not had the time to grow and mature to it’s full potential yet. There are many factors that affect your relationships and any of them can become volatile at any time. Health, money, depression, and education can all have a bearing on marriage and coming to an understanding and agreement becomes critical in order to make it last.
If necessary, seek professional help, look to your church, get involved in group meetings that deal with assisting couples in getting back on track. Don’t be ashamed and what ever you do, don’t take it out on any children the two of you may have. After all, it is not their disagreement and rarely will they be able to provide the proper solution(s).
The Numbers Are Not In- Off The Charts
While researching for this post, an attempt to find current statistics on the percentages of couples being in long-lasting marriages based on the graying population demographics is somewhat skewed as any information found also includes those in their 50’s. What was found is that many professionals that deal with married couples are finding that the trend is on an upward climb for long-lasting unions as more communication efforts are having positive effects in understanding each other for a continued cohesive growth.
Even though the rates of divorce in this age group has risen, research conducted by the Pew Research Center shows that the rate has actually remained stable in recent history. Also to note, the higher the education levels of both partners, the better the chances of a longer lasting marriage.
Looking around on the internet as well as talking to couples, you can find many that have made a strong go of it for many decades and are celebrated as a reward. 75 years, 54, 52, 30 and so on, more and more couples find that the benefit of staying together outweighs the negatives.
Make Me Laugh – No Cost Cure
Laughter is a strong uniter in people, as well as a great pain reliever and social tool. It is healthy in that it can rid us of stress and bring back many memories from our past that can be shared with a loved one.
When was the last time you made your spouse laugh, really laugh? Was it because the two of you were recounting a special moment from earlier times in your marriage or more something that one of your offspring may have done. Regardless, you are in luck. Research has shown that couples that can laugh together tend to be happier and that can set the theme for a healthy, long-lasting relationship.
Myself, still to this day, the same as it was when my wife and I met, I can make her laugh, and I mean seriously laugh. Not to toot my own horn but she will tell you of at least a couple of occasions where I have been able to stop a few famous comedians dead in their tracks during performances. They shouldn’t have asked those questions as obviously, they were not prepared for the high caliber answer they got from me. This in turn keeps our relationship on a balance where you never know what fun will happen next.
Being able to laugh together makes for a very healthy lifestyle and even when the heart aches, just the smallest of chuckles can take away that hurt even if it lasts for only a few moments. Long enough to put both of you back on track and keep moving forward in life together, healthier, happier, and enriched in the moment.
Glitz and Glam – Hollywood Style
So as the story goes, boy meets girl, they get married, start a family and everyone lives happily forever. Wait scratch that, let’s rewrite that scene.
The Hollywood circle of celebs, what is up with that? Seems as though that everyone wants to get married to each other. At least for this film. Not often do you ever read of big name couples staying married for very long. One would think that with all the information they have put together over the years, they, of all people would understand why real marriages last.
Ah to be young and restless and unfaithful. Lots of energy there and it flows right into the music industry as well. For all the scripts and songs that have been written, one has yet to find a blockbuster being brought to the forefront about couples that have spent a lifetime together as a big screen, chart topping production.
Guess we’ll just have to wait and see who is up for nomination at one of next years awards ceremonies.
Love – Don’t Break My Heart
Love, devotion, caring and working hard. That’s what it takes to make a marriage work cohesively. Take the time to listen to each other, really listen with your ears and not your mouth.
We are human and we all make mistakes. How two people who truly love each other, work at repairing the hurts that are caused by the flow of life is entirely up to them. Just how much do they love each other as they did in the beginning and how hard are they willing to work at making it right. Sometimes a bit of outside help can make a world of difference.
Young couples look up to those who have been successful and will undoubtedly seek you out for advice and direction. Nothing to be ashamed of if you are the one’s asking. It just shows that you are willing to make an honest go of it.
For many, they have found that sometimes, true love and the willingness to make it work comes in the form of a second marriage and couples have been known to go their separate ways only to reunite at a later time in life. That makes for putting to use what you have learned and using it in a more matured manner. For others, a true soulmate can be found hiding just around the corner at the intersection of Love and Happy Life streets.
Renew Your Subscription – Make It Last Forever
Consider re-doing your vows and making that forever commitment to each other. After all, you have come this far so why not celebrate and show the world what a wonderful warm and caring couple you are. Deeply devoted to each other with a renewed vigor for life and all it has to offer, as a couple that understands why real marriages last.
As for my wife and I, we have already decided to renew our vows in Manhattan Beach, CA on a very special date in just a few years from now as even though things in life get in the way, making it work and being committed to each other means a lot to our very existence.
Take a look at your own marriage and think about what it would mean to redo your vows to each other. Could it be possible to fall in love again? One never knows!
Come on back soon and bring friends and family too. In the meantime, please feel free to comment about your thoughts on what makes for a solid marriage. Share with the world why it is special for the both of you. It will make your souls feel better.
That’s my show